Archive for July, 2008

Consider the Ant

Where have I been? What have I been doing. Been far. Been doing much.

When I say I’ve been far, I don’t mean physically (we rarely travel). But God has taken me through some things, and is showing me some things. My title for this post is not a direct quote, but from the verses in Proverbs Chapter 6, verses 6-8:

“Go to the ant, thou sluggar; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.”

I have been able to observe the ant over the past week. I also managed to observe another (of what I consider to be a) pest last year. These pests are our teachers, if we would consider them.

Diligence is what I speak of. Have I been diligent? Why, yes, quite often I am. But, is it possible to be diligent in areas that have absolutely nothing to do with glorifying God? But, of course (this must be said with a french accent, because I am thinking of Lumiere from “Beauty and the Beast–the Disney version)!

Anyway, I have indeed been diligent at times in all sorts of things that do nothing to benefit my Lord. Why, then, do I bother?  I don’t mean to, really, I don’t.  It seems like the right thing to do at the time.  It goes to show how I need to draw nearer to my Lord daily.  It is such a struggle, sometimes, this walk.

Where am I going with this?  My baby girl just turned 4 today.  It was a glorious, wonderful, fun day to watch her enjoy the gifts she got, the balloons, look forward (patiently) to her cake, see her eyes light up with anticipation at everything.  We don’t do big birthday parties anymore.  A few years back, we had a very rough year, and approaching Christmas, when my second son has his birthday, we were without money to buy anything for him–I mean we could buy nothing at all.  It was very rough on us.  We couldn’t eat out, we couldn’t go out, we couldn’t spend a penny.  I struggled with that more than I realized I would.  We rummaged through the closet and found little McDonald’s toys that had not been opened from Happy Meals, and a few other things that were supposed to be stocking stuffers that we had not given the year before, and wrapped them up.  We had a simple dinner, a little cakes, then he opened the gifts.  When he opened them all, he said, “Is that it?”

Smiling, I said, “yes.”

He started playing with what he got.  What a blessing that was.

We have had one other “big” party for him since, but the rest of our birthdays are simple family affairs.  I guess I’m being a bit nostalgic, with the walk down memory lane, but, I’m thinking of the areas in our lives where we are diligent.

I have diligently planned and prepared for big birthdays (past).  I have diligently and meticulously scrutinized the school books we use (not necessarily a bad thing–just a time issue).  I have diligently pursued time on the computer (now and again).

Have I diligently attended to my husband and children?  Not always.  Has God been gracious in spite of that? Yes, I am human, you know.  Will he always turn a blind eye to this mistake?

Well, since I have been looking at pests who are so diligent, that in response, I must be excessively diligent to overcome their invasion–I am going to have to guess no.

With that said, I cannot say how much I will be blogging in future.  I have enjoyed it, but I need to be diligent in some other things right now.  When I can, I’ll be by to post.  Check in when you can.  My readership is pretty sparse anyhow–so I don’t think that will be an issue.

Good night.  Must get busy (ants, you know!).


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Whoops! I really didn’t mean to be away so long. Got busy. What’s going on? Well, I have been forced into looking at my relationship with my 15yo son. What gives, huh? He’s an awesome young man. He’s been extremely busy so far this summer, but I see the changes going on between us. Not bad things, just different. I wasn’t ready for the changes, but I’ve known they were coming. I miss the little him, but I’m awed by what God has done with him. I raised him, but God has formed him–I really don’t get any credit, you know?

So what’s so different, now, is that he doesn’t really need me for everything. He needs me for authority, yes, but he is also ready to be more than just “my son”. I am having so much trouble articulating this, even.

When he was a boy, he needed me for direction, instruction, structure. Now that he’s becoming a man, he needs me more for guidance, for back and forth communication, for “home.” He is making more of his own choices, he is doing more on his own. It’s rough, but it’s also beautiful at the same time.

I love him so much. It’s incredible to watch.

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